There is a marathon being organized in Bangalore and it is officially a ‘10km’ marathon. I happened to discuss this with the other summer interns during coffee and Abby went mad.
Abby : Officially, marathons are supposed to be for 42.195 km. (and he glares)
Me: Well, There is no long-stay make-up that lasts for such a distance!
Abby bends his head down and goes into his pensive moods. I think these are just pretensions to hide his snoring away to glory.
Meanwhile Sud has his own reasons for refusing to run.
“Don’t expect me to grace the occasion unless I see Piggy Chops gracing the occasion.” He says and starts looking morose.
I inform him that Deepika Padukone is going to be there but it ain’t enough for Mr-I-admire-piggy-chops.
Abby however seems to have woken up and has already proclaimed that Deepika is a kannadiga. Hey, I want Rajnikanth, too!
Rekha has her own reasons but I refrain from asking her. For I know that if she runs, the number of ambulances called to the spot must be multiplied. Extra security personnel will have to be called in and the Indian army might have to descend in a million choppers. For history has winced every time Rekha has moved, spilling coffee(others’, not hers, mind you) tumbled over children and increased the heart attack rates among the elderly. I think they must put a clause under the hoarding of the banners reading ‘Rekha not allowed’. (The filmy Rekha, can however be allowed. I think she might just make it to the awards ceremony after she has applied her lipstick)
Cutting to the gyaan, Marathon is actually named after legend of the Greek messenger Pheidippides, who burst into the assembly of Athens to announce that the ‘Battle of Marathon’ had been won against the Persians. Lucian of Samosata (2nd century AD) also gives the story but names the runner Philippides (not Pheidippides). (Samosata?? I knew Indian snacks had a long and great history.)
The distance of the marathon was never fixed. So if you were a organizer before the 1996 Olympics, any distance covered by foot was considered a marathon. I humbly declare that I was a winner of a million such marathons when I beat my neighbor’s toddler, Montu in ‘marathons’ from his door to the elevator. But sadly, Montu soon grew up to waddle faster than me and the official distance of a marathon was fixed at 42.195 kms in 1996.
Ah well, I think it is not long before we have a short and glamorous version of the Marathon called IPM or the Indians pramanit Marathon. It shall cover the distance from a coffee pub to a spa as runners need pampering after the ordeal from the flash bulbs of the paparazzi. I vote for Lalit Modi to organize the sport. Anyone is welcome to bid for the runners who shall specifically be hot young Miss-India hopefuls and Manisha Koirala. Manisha Koirala just for her belief that ‘Aaj mein aage, duniya hai peeche’. ‘Khamoshi’ chayi rahe! The Miss-India hopefuls because they can get more participation in the form of the young lads, producers and the general crowd chasing them.
Young hot Indian men with any resemblance to John Abraham or Abhishek Bachan are also welcome. Bidding for these runners will can only be done by anyone who has a chopper to spare, has acted in 2 hit and 6 flop bollywood movies or has bawled and won an international reality show.
As I propose this idea as my latest business plan, my friends think I should look at another majors than marketing except one guy. But he is willing to support me only if I support his idea of ‘India pramanit fishing league’ where players shall catch the only remaining two fishes in Chowpatty beach. I am thinking of a revamp of my idea and some more campaigning for the same.